Sorry for the delay...

I can't believe how long it's been since we managed to pop a few lines, here - it's been an exceptionally busy time but if you thought it was because Bill was no longer ingesting weird and wonderful things you'd have been wrong!

Despite being so cute and friendly, since last blogging some of the memorable things Bill has consummed include:

• my glasses
• a margarine tub (full)
• an egg box (full)
• 3 socks we know about...
• 4 tennis balls
• 'indestructible' dog toy
• 'hours of chewing fun' dog toy (lasted less than 3 minutes)
• the packaging of a Fireman Sam toy - which in fairness was probably better quality than the toy.

We continue to love Bill, and be amazed by him and his fascinating stomach. He has been swimming again in a lake and is becoming slightly calmer - unless he sees or smells food, people, dogs, squirrels, cats or anything else.

Good Boy, Bill!

We've just returned from a few days away, and although Bill ate 5 loo rolls this morning and left them all over the living room floor, while we were away he was beautifully behaved.

We'll find some photos of him in the sea - he had a great time at the seaside meeting lots of new friends, especially a dog called Basil, and his cousins Molly and Holly. Bill remains a great pet and a lovely companion, over the last few days we saw the potential Bill has once he's a bit older and calmer.

Notwithstanding the loo roll incident, he's been pretty good since we got home too, maybe this is the start of things to come?

Really Bill?!?

Well, Bill has surpassed himself this week for a reason we can only guess at he decided to eat the middle of our lino flooring in the utility room. We imagine there must have been something sticky on there, and his vigorous licking turned into something more 'claw-ry'... but who knows? The end result is we've had to cover it up with a mat for now, before he eats the whole floor, and look at the cost of getting a new one... unimpressed r us.

Then last night to top off his naughty few days we had all the neighbours round for dinner and he was beautifully behaved all night, we put away most of the food out of reach (or so we thought) and went upstairs to get the kids to bed... all was quiet downstairs which is always suspicious. The sight of Bill with ALL FOUR legs on our dining table eating the leftovers of cheese and coleslaw was both hilarious, incredible and blood boiling.

Tonight within three seconds of completing his own dinner, he'd grabbed the leftover jacket potatoes (2) from the worktop, for a dog that failed the Guide Dog training for 'Low Drive' he can move when he wants to!

We love Bill, but he drives us crazy - bit like the kids I suppose.

This week's list

Bill hasn't done himself any favours this week, and the list is an idea of how bizarre his chewing fetish has become, I suspect mainly because we have got better at putting obviously interesting things away, so he is only left with the weird and wonderful.

This week, Bill has managed to destroy:

• Two novels
• Sand bucket and spade
• Pizza delivery box
• Radiator grille
• Princess hair grip
• Are we still counting the footballs?
• Kids drinking cup
• Did I mention the books...

So, we're back to the pet shop tomorrow to investigate yet more toys - he will soon have more than the children.

It's all worth it to keep him interested but mainly to keep him safe. The above doesn't include all the actually edible things he's eaten which are beginning to seem quite normal.

Butter wouldn't melt...

Before you all coo and say how cute Bill is - you need to know that he has just eaten TWO of my books - one I had just finished and one I had just started... If you know me you'll  know how really p****d off I am. I can't get a copy from the library as they don't have any, so I've emailed the wonderful New Books Magazine, to see if they have any left in their office.

The books weren't left anywhere tantalizing, and I'm now very cross. I have a photo of the 'evidence' but it's not so nice as this one of our lovely, but deeply frustrating dog.

The dog ate our dinner - no really...

Despite his loveliness in so many, many areas Bill's food obsession is not lovely. Today he managed to eat our dinner in the 3 seconds we took our eyes off the kitchen counter - after already eating the kids dinner off their plates. It's not been a proud day for Bill the Dog.

However, at least those were tasty, edible items. Most of Bill's choices this week have not been so nutritious, a small sample would include:
slippers
childs pretty shoe
biro
plastic bottle
apple cores
box of tissues
a football

The search for pet insurance is on in earnest, and we congratulate Bill on his high energy and committment to finding such a wide variety of weird stuff that we didn't think to move out of his way. Our house is slowly becoming a waste land. We are in love with the various Kong items we've bought  - but may need more!

Pet Insurance - oh yes!

Bill has surpassed himself this week, the list of inedible items he's deemed to be edible is quite remarkable - another trip to the vet looms but he's so lovely we've decided to keep him anyway. We do however need to sort out some pet insurance, as this time we've been very lucky that a sock has found it's way 'through' naturally and no surgery was needed... researching the options is my job for tomorrow.

So, for those who like the specifics, this week Bill has eaten two biros, a tupperware, two kids toy plates, a sock (or at least one we know of...), a football, most of our post including several anniversary cards and two magazines. But fear not - we have now got a post box on the outside of the house so shouldn't loose anymore post at least.

I'll keep you posted!