Sorry for the delay...

I can't believe how long it's been since we managed to pop a few lines, here - it's been an exceptionally busy time but if you thought it was because Bill was no longer ingesting weird and wonderful things you'd have been wrong!

Despite being so cute and friendly, since last blogging some of the memorable things Bill has consummed include:

• my glasses
• a margarine tub (full)
• an egg box (full)
• 3 socks we know about...
• 4 tennis balls
• 'indestructible' dog toy
• 'hours of chewing fun' dog toy (lasted less than 3 minutes)
• the packaging of a Fireman Sam toy - which in fairness was probably better quality than the toy.

We continue to love Bill, and be amazed by him and his fascinating stomach. He has been swimming again in a lake and is becoming slightly calmer - unless he sees or smells food, people, dogs, squirrels, cats or anything else.

Good Boy, Bill!

We've just returned from a few days away, and although Bill ate 5 loo rolls this morning and left them all over the living room floor, while we were away he was beautifully behaved.

We'll find some photos of him in the sea - he had a great time at the seaside meeting lots of new friends, especially a dog called Basil, and his cousins Molly and Holly. Bill remains a great pet and a lovely companion, over the last few days we saw the potential Bill has once he's a bit older and calmer.

Notwithstanding the loo roll incident, he's been pretty good since we got home too, maybe this is the start of things to come?

Really Bill?!?

Well, Bill has surpassed himself this week for a reason we can only guess at he decided to eat the middle of our lino flooring in the utility room. We imagine there must have been something sticky on there, and his vigorous licking turned into something more 'claw-ry'... but who knows? The end result is we've had to cover it up with a mat for now, before he eats the whole floor, and look at the cost of getting a new one... unimpressed r us.

Then last night to top off his naughty few days we had all the neighbours round for dinner and he was beautifully behaved all night, we put away most of the food out of reach (or so we thought) and went upstairs to get the kids to bed... all was quiet downstairs which is always suspicious. The sight of Bill with ALL FOUR legs on our dining table eating the leftovers of cheese and coleslaw was both hilarious, incredible and blood boiling.

Tonight within three seconds of completing his own dinner, he'd grabbed the leftover jacket potatoes (2) from the worktop, for a dog that failed the Guide Dog training for 'Low Drive' he can move when he wants to!

We love Bill, but he drives us crazy - bit like the kids I suppose.

This week's list

Bill hasn't done himself any favours this week, and the list is an idea of how bizarre his chewing fetish has become, I suspect mainly because we have got better at putting obviously interesting things away, so he is only left with the weird and wonderful.

This week, Bill has managed to destroy:

• Two novels
• Sand bucket and spade
• Pizza delivery box
• Radiator grille
• Princess hair grip
• Are we still counting the footballs?
• Kids drinking cup
• Did I mention the books...

So, we're back to the pet shop tomorrow to investigate yet more toys - he will soon have more than the children.

It's all worth it to keep him interested but mainly to keep him safe. The above doesn't include all the actually edible things he's eaten which are beginning to seem quite normal.

Butter wouldn't melt...

Before you all coo and say how cute Bill is - you need to know that he has just eaten TWO of my books - one I had just finished and one I had just started... If you know me you'll  know how really p****d off I am. I can't get a copy from the library as they don't have any, so I've emailed the wonderful New Books Magazine, to see if they have any left in their office.

The books weren't left anywhere tantalizing, and I'm now very cross. I have a photo of the 'evidence' but it's not so nice as this one of our lovely, but deeply frustrating dog.

The dog ate our dinner - no really...

Despite his loveliness in so many, many areas Bill's food obsession is not lovely. Today he managed to eat our dinner in the 3 seconds we took our eyes off the kitchen counter - after already eating the kids dinner off their plates. It's not been a proud day for Bill the Dog.

However, at least those were tasty, edible items. Most of Bill's choices this week have not been so nutritious, a small sample would include:
slippers
childs pretty shoe
biro
plastic bottle
apple cores
box of tissues
a football

The search for pet insurance is on in earnest, and we congratulate Bill on his high energy and committment to finding such a wide variety of weird stuff that we didn't think to move out of his way. Our house is slowly becoming a waste land. We are in love with the various Kong items we've bought  - but may need more!

Pet Insurance - oh yes!

Bill has surpassed himself this week, the list of inedible items he's deemed to be edible is quite remarkable - another trip to the vet looms but he's so lovely we've decided to keep him anyway. We do however need to sort out some pet insurance, as this time we've been very lucky that a sock has found it's way 'through' naturally and no surgery was needed... researching the options is my job for tomorrow.

So, for those who like the specifics, this week Bill has eaten two biros, a tupperware, two kids toy plates, a sock (or at least one we know of...), a football, most of our post including several anniversary cards and two magazines. But fear not - we have now got a post box on the outside of the house so shouldn't loose anymore post at least.

I'll keep you posted!

The Joy of Walking

I really love walking, but in no other circumstances would I have gone out for an hour this morning in the horrible driving rain except to walk the dog.

I'm so glad I did, walking is my favourite thinking time, and I came up with two ideas for articles to pitch and a children's story to try on the kids later. Bill enjoyed meeting other dogs and chasing their sticks and balls, and of course harrassing their owners for treats. He even managed to find some poo to eat - what a great morning out for us both!

Can a dog have Prada-Willi Syndrome?

We've all had a lovely few days, and although Bill has been generally well behaved (he's such a lovely dog) there have of course been more 'incidents' in his dietary preferences. This week he has eaten - two play nappies, a tupperware box, several loo roll tubes, a Management Times magazine, two footballs and stolen many pieces of toast out of the kids hands. Not to mention being found on the dining table (all four legs) investiaging an empty glass of milk.

The toys we've bought are popular, but clearly never going to replace the joy of hunt for 'real' food. He's off for his booster jabs in the morning - hopefully he'll forgive us, and the vet.

Spend, spend, spend

Well, I've just been to our local pet store, and boy have I bought some stuff... in the hope that we can keep Bill entertained and not so food obsessed (and to keep our toy stocks at their current level). We are going to trial a 'Kong Extreme' with some peanut butter in it, as the ball you put little treats in doesn't seem to take him more than two seconds to empty.

We are also putting a few other ideas on a trial, so will let you know what works and what doesn't.

New baby has fitted seamlessly into our home and I don't think G noticed any difference so we're all good on that front. We all went to stay with family last week and Bill was generally quite well behaved, and settled in nicely with his doggy cousin. There was just that one (or two) incident when he climbed onto the dining chair - front legs on the table in case some birthday cake had been left there...

In the dog house

Well, Bill is back on the naughty list as he has eaten G's baby doll. She doesn't know as yet, because we've managed to distract and the kids were at nursery all day today. I'm not one to shy away from the realities of disability, or to shield the children from disappointment but I think seeing the mauled remains of 'baby' would scar G for life! The kids have coped so well with the loss of many toys already, but this just seemed a step too far.

I try hard to avoid the big supermarkets, and worry about them taking over the world... BUT there are times in life when the ability to buy a kids toy late a night becomes a necessity. Let's hope they have one...

Here we go...

This morning was Bill's first visit to the vet, I'm not expecting it to be his last! They suggested a 24 hour fast which (once we'd stopped laughing) has been commuted to a rice and scrambled egg diet in the hope he feels better very soon. He had a lovely walk in the woods and today has mostly eaten edible things - just one attempt at a plastic boulder from the kids castle.

Here's to a calmer outlook all around.

The story so far...

So, Bill arrives and is lovely. We have a great load of foods, toys, photos and a kind letter from his puppy walkers with lots of handy hints about Bill. He settles into our less than regular routine very quickly and is great fun to have around. However, there is a tendancy to eat ANYTHING, really anything. On day one he eats the widest variety of the kids things including (to name just a few) a plastic flower hair band, a Happyland policeman, two play nappies and a pot of Sudocreme.

Over that first weekend, he consumes 2 CD's several more plastic items from the sandpit, another hair band and most of our post. Please don't think that we leave items in stupid places or as bait. We care very much for his wellbeing and are very careful what is left out - but he has the most amazing gift of finding dangerous things to eat...

It's only going to be a weekly update of Bill's adventures. The rain has been a real nightmare this week, but as Bill is more interested in short bursts of speed over very long walks we have managed a few great trips for him.

Second Time Around

We lost our amazing retired Guide Dog in October, it a was sudden traumatic and incredibly expensive experience, and we said we probably wouldn't do it again for some time.

And then... we did some dog sitting for a friend and remembered all the fun of watching the kids and the dog playing in the garden, and sent an email to the Guide Dogs to say we'd like to go back on the list again. Waiting for the right dog for the family can take up to two years, so we weren't expecting to hear back any time soon.

And then... a phone call came to say the perfect family dog to meet all our needs was looking for a home - and Bill arrived. A very young dog, who was withdrawn from Guide Dog training as it clearly wasn't for him.

We now see why! He's has a lovely temperament and lots of great traits, but is a real handful. People keep asking how we're all getting on, so we'll let you know here.